♥ Fidelity

2010-05-24T20:32:00.000+08:00

2010-04-03T20:14:00.002+08:00

Maybe my mistakes are what make our fate to be.

The world changed, so do humans.

2010-03-31T21:14:00.003+08:00

Love means holding onto someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they might disappear forever. And when you truly love someone, you will never lose them or get over them. They will always mean something to you.

As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you, NOT.

2010-03-20T15:30:00.002+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday, Tok Tok Tok Boon Jie ♥

2010-03-19T01:51:00.000+08:00

2010-03-16T19:15:00.002+08:00

Love has no desire but to fulfil itself. To melt and to be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence; like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.

Maybe its good to leave now and forever.

2010-03-14T19:44:00.005+08:00

I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barrieres if two people are destined to be together.

-

Don't mistake love for lust. Let's be ourselves for this moment in time; hearts on our sleevs and vulnerable to bleed. Nothing hurts more than realising he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him. Can you tell me the truth for once, did you ever truly like me before?

-/ Who you are is who I wanna be with ♥

2010-03-05T22:47:00.001+08:00

Without some of the things you want it is an indispensable part of happiness.

2010-03-04T16:46:00.006+08:00

I, myself destroyed everything with my own bare hands. It's so hard to forget the pain that I caused it for myself. But it's even harder to remember the sweetness of his. The scar that he left for me doesn't show any happiness and I've learnt so little from peace.

-

I fall in love with him with no assurance when every relationship takes both hands to clap. I love the one who always make me laugh. I honestly think that it's the only thing I like most when I'm with him. It really cures all multitude of illness. It's probably that the most important thing in him.

The heart of autumn must have been here, and

poured its treasure out upon the leaves.

2010-02-24T20:00:00.004+08:00

When there's fire, it's hard to put it off, unless one of you apologise to the another or you realise your own mistakes that you've done. And what can I do when my tears is at the brim already? Your love is my drug and that's how strong my love is for you.

Sorry.

2010-02-20T06:18:00.001+08:00

You really signifies a lot to me. After how many umpteens, I still fall again and again. You're making me feel inferior.

Angel, forever. Il est mon tout, ma vie.

2010-02-20T03:48:00.001+08:00

I tried to convince you once again that you should stay through all the brokeness, but my bleeding heart wants to confess to you. I opened the doors but you closed them on me. I'm compromising, won't you show the same look that changed? I don't wanna take a step back but I'm running on emptiness. We're just no longer on the same track and it's killing me in every way. You take me in and you shut me out, you're breaking me down. Tell me that I'm the one, but I see through your lies and it's all misleading. You keep me bleeding and it's like I'm burning out. You're making me feel so alone, baby just let me let go cause I just can't escape your ghost and the fire you started. I can't find myself leaving and it hurts with every breath that I take and I will never know the feeling of you whether you're loving me like the same way as I do.

2010-01-24T12:23:00.001+08:00

How can you measure the promise of love when it's weighing against a chance that comes once? How can I leave when I know he's the one when the dust settles? He might now be here and I'm standing with him in this terminal, crying my eyes out in tears.

2010-01-21T20:50:00.001+08:00

" There's a life across the river but I do not see it. And why I should please those who will never be pleased? "

2010-01-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

Always remember that through the tormoil love may bring the heart sees what the eyes cannot.

2009-12-28T17:31:00.002+08:00

As the sun disappears and my heart hallows out, the sound of your laughter is carried by a distant echo, and all I've ever known, all I've ever loved turns to dust.

2009-12-23T15:08:00.001+08:00

You may not be her first, her last or her only one. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you ain't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onoto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze, and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.

“- Bob Marley

2009-12-18T17:09:00.001+08:00

Staying with someone you love even if you know you two can't be together for a lot of reasons. It's like standing under the rain and it feels good but you know it will soon make you sick.

2009-11-22T22:25:00.003+08:00

J-ennao.livejournal.com

2009-11-02T21:25:00.001+08:00

Everyone asked me whether I gave up on him not, I told them no even it is impossible. She, who always loiter outside till late night even her parents gave her a call and she doesn't give a damn to it. She changed because he's the one who taught her from wrong to right and be a better girl for not loitering outside. He detest her for staying out late too. Without him, she'll never be what she is today. I won't ask for more, but my love for him is deeper as days goes by. He made my life worthwhile and no words can express my love for him. God send him to me as a present and I appreciate it a lot. Love is fairly magical.

2009-10-15T23:36:00.001+08:00

Shifted. Might come back once in a while :D

2009-10-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

Tie your heart at night to mine, love,
and both will defeat the darkness
like twin drums beating in the forest
against the heavy wall of wet leaves.

Night crossing: black coal of dream
that cuts the thread of earthly orbs
with the punctuality of a headlong train
that pulls cold stone and shadow endlessly.

Love, because of it, tie me to a purer movement,
to the grip on life that beats in your breast,
with the wings of a submerged swan,

So that our dream might reply
to the sky’s questioning stars
with one key, one door closed to shadow.

-Pablo Neruda

2009-10-12T22:55:00.003+08:00

* In the space between, yes and no, there is a lifetime. It's the difference between who you thought, you could be and who you really are. It's the legroom for the lies you tell yourself in the future.

2009-10-11T15:51:00.004+08:00

Alone isn’t always lonely. Just Sometimes.

2009-10-04T21:00:00.013+08:00

Langkawi's sunset(s) :D

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock.
Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.

2009-10-02T14:14:00.002+08:00

" Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

-- The Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

2009-10-01T19:31:00.002+08:00

"I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend."

-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2009-09-12T19:16:00.002+08:00

3 words, 8 letters, 1 meaning. It always been meaningful to others but it's not meaningful to you and me from the beginning, forever and always.

2009-09-03T19:00:00.005+08:00

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in him. He should not perish, but have everlasting life. And this is the condemnation that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that does evil, hates the light, neither comes to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that does truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are worked in God.

-

Cried badly yesterday night. I wish everything were just a dream. You really made us scare a hell of ourselves. We realized that we really failed to be your friends. We also failed to concern about you when you're feeling so terrible. We can't do anything for now. We can just stay by your side to encourage you to live on. Take care my friend. I'll visit you soon.

-

Some friends are like a flower,
and when they finally bloom,
they wilt away in just one day.

Some friends are like a cloudy day,
and when the sun's in sight,
it gets blocked by the grayest cloud
and day turns into night.

Some friends are like a maple tree,
and with the slightest breeze,
the colored leaves, they all come loose
and float away with ease.

Some friends are like a circle,
for the are always true,
I know I have friends like that,
and yes, that friend is you.

2009-09-01T17:49:00.010+08:00

If you ever need me, I'll be right here to chase away the sadness and wipe away a tear.
If you ever need me, I'll be two steps be hide to follow in your footsteps and hear what's on your mind.
If you ever need me, you'll never have to dear that your presence isn't important and your love isn't dear.
If you ever need me, I'll always be around to bring back the laughter where deep in your heart it's found.

99.99% love for ♥K.

Everything I'm not,

2009-08-23T18:25:00.008+08:00

I'll be flying off in a month's time. Days without K really kills me. But still, I need to get use to it. K, it's really you who matters now. I will always remember how you asked me to go home that particular night. Just remember the good times and not the bad. I'm just so contented by you, K. I can't say you're one in a million or billion. You're just a special and unique guy that I've ever met. A feeling indescribable in me. No one can make me feel inferior when I feel. Let my love be the misty rain, comes softly but flooding in the river. Faith make things possible, come slowly. Success comes in can, not can't. K, you're not even giving yourself a chance and you asked me to give him one? Utterly disappointed in you, K. But I still love you as ever :x

I should have controlled myself from drinking so much during yesterday mid. I couldn't believe myself that I did such an atrocious thing when I'm drunk. Felt so guilty. Promised K that I will control the next time round. Or I should say, no more next time round? Yeah, perhaps.

2009-08-18T21:23:00.004+08:00

Sorry for the stubborness that I have last week. Somehow regretted for not letting you to send me home. It's once in a blue moon. If you can spare me some of your time to me, I'll won't be always finding people out already. I just want to spend some more quality time together. I just hope you will ask me to stay rather than leaving and I really can't force myself to be with him when I got no feelings towards him. You should know the reason well, personally. I really don't want to hurt the dang on the earth too.

I'm just another girl at the bar.

2009-08-14T16:12:00.003+08:00

Life is like a novel with the end of ripped out. Life is like a humility. The art of life is like a portrait. Life is a prolong thing to manage. Life is full of obstacles illusions. Life is like a house of art's galleries. Life isn't unfair, that's only the thinking of yours. Life is like a house which filled with illness. The art of life is a portrait of illness.

Misson failed,

2009-08-10T23:28:00.016+08:00

Fiq, 9years and still counting on!

Plan failed to meet this cute lil' ass over here, Afico Lee. He went over to Arab ; Dubai during mid March. He's finally back to homeland last Friday. He planned to give me, us and everyone a surprise. But his plan failed. I need some catch up with this cute lil' ass brother of mine soon. I miss him to the max. Insert hearts, mulitply(X)915416547872. He asked me to send a regard to Ms Eileen and he, Afiqo Lee had let her down ever since he quit school. He's doing well right now [:

M, you're a grown up guy. I hope you know the definition between right and wrong. Think before you do everything. I promise you I won't tell them unless you stop what you're doing right now. This is a harm to your own self. I won't leave you to the lurch.

I'm at the point of on relum. So afraid of getting bumed. I want to take a change. Please, give me a reason to believe. Something to have and hold with my heart and soul. I need to know before I fall. Someone whose willing to stay around through all my ups and downs. I just want to pursuit of the vertical smile of yours. I'm totally head heels over you.

Why do guys so indulge in games when they once started playing? Games really took them away from me, us. I thought he will never be the one whom is so indulged in games. But I'm wrong. Totally wrong.

Do we really meant to have so much tiffs between me and you, us?
I, we always know the name of the game which hurts the most.

2009-08-06T13:02:00.004+08:00

I thought I have a blissful family. Actually I don't have one. It's falling apart with the chaos around.

If you are Taurus:

You are an extremely gentle and caring lover. You are totally loyal in your relationships. You prefer to be in a serious relationship. You are a very understanding lover. You love to be pampered by your loved one. At times, you get very possessive about your partner. Your partner loves you for the intimacy and affection you show. You are a tender lover and do not show too much aggression. You tend to be open in your relationships. You do not hide things from your partner and expect the same in return.

Your kissing style:
Your kisses are very soft and memorable. You love to proceed in a slow manner.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
cook great food for you, pamper you, be dependable and honest, etc.

You are more compatible with - Leo, Scorpio, Virgo, Capricorn
You are less compatible with - Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Marriage is holy and joyous.

In the perfection of yours,

2009-08-05T19:00:00.017+08:00

K, are you the most slightest within all? Tell me you're not please. I just wish to grab hold of your hands. I just want to find a way to compromise cause I believe that we can work things out. Everywhere I go, I get so confused. You're the only thing that's on my mind. I miss you more each day. If I could hold you now and make the pain just go away, I can stop the tears from running down my face in the future.

It's a hectic week for me, us. Projects, phase tests, class tests, celebrations & so on. Give me, us a break please.

In the perfection of yours, I've lost.
Rest in peace, JunKai [:

Making a difference,

2009-08-04T15:09:00.028+08:00

It's a poignant memory about between us.

When a guy treat you good, it can't be purely just good friends. But a status in return. Why is it when a guy and a girl meet, they must be in relationship after that? When a guy shower you with extra love and you have rejected them when you can't return back the same thing to them, all they can show you were the eyes of sorrows or hatred in them.

Run baby run, baby run.

2009-08-02T12:34:00.014+08:00

This shows how much I wanted you, K.

Does this reckon as one-sided? If in all this while is just one-sided, I want to get away from this harsh reality. But I hope this is not for real. And when can I spend more than 12 or 24hours with you? The answer you gave me was such an unexpected. Yes, you're the most important person in my life. Every word and sentence you once said, it really signifies a lot to me. I just want a turbulent flow with you, K. Is it that hard to you? Sometimes I find it hard to sleep at night because I don't know whether I'm still in my dream or not. It fills with the phantom of your soul right beside me. Well, good time don't last ain't it? If you're willing to give me a chance, I'll will make it right for you. Just only you. Sometimes I felt I'm not all alone 'cause you're here with me.

I could change my fate if I persevere.

Crossover,

2009-07-31T14:10:00.017+08:00

The photo above speaks it all.

Sometimes I feel myself being a happy kid of being daddy's and mummy's Chan child. But sometimes I totally don't. I get what I want from them for now but not in the future. I don't deserve this pampers from my parents. Since when I'm born, I gave my parents a hell loads of problems in and out of the school over and over again. I really/totally don't deserve this kind of dote, pampers and tender loving care from them. I'm a inhuman. And I shouldn't say this world is cruel or unfair for now. I'm the one who wants to walk this ale/path. I'm the one who landed myself in this state. I, this inhuman shouldn't deserve living in this world, full stop.

I've got the courage to tell him how much I love and wanted him. But why I don't have the courage to do other things that I wanted to do so badly?

What/who makes me to the have this courage to smile on?

In some time, I'll get beaten out from this stage.
I have to give it a scratch.

The first cut is the deepest,

2009-07-28T22:01:00.024+08:00

Susan Boyle.

Click to play : ( It's not for laugh. Seriously. )

Though she's not the winner, but you can never find the another her, Susan Boyle.

Promise of a lifetime,

2009-07-09T19:21:00.017+08:00

X, you know it's impossible. Why waste your time & effort on me? From the day I vowed to god and K, I will keep my promises. It's really meaningless waiting. I don't wish to hurt you further or in the future. I'm not as good as you thought. There's really too much of girls for you to grab. But why is it me? All I say now is just, forget me and get someone better. I'm not being heartless over here. I think we really remain as friends is a better choice for us/everyone. Sorry. You should know how much I like/love K. The feeling for K ain't as easy as ABC or 3-1=2.

First month♥

Sorry,

2009-07-05T21:13:00.005+08:00

I really don't wish to hurt someone whom is close and good towards me. I really can't predict for my future. I will follow my heart when I got the answer. Yes, I admit I still like him. So what? It doesn't matters anymore cause we know we're impossible. I know you're better than him. But you can't possibly ask me to go with you when my heart is not with you right? Sorry if I hurt you badly. It's the fact that I like him which cannot be changed or undone. I will tell you the answer when the time is ripe [:

Never ever,

2009-07-03T21:07:00.020+08:00

There's a better guy out there. Why do I still insist on clinging onto it? It's worthless isn't it? Now, I will love the person who treats me right and forget about the ones who don't.

This girl above will be forever part of me. Whenever I needs her, she will be there for me. But when she needed me most, I flared my attitude at her just 'cause she's being so flickered minded between two men. I don't know how to describe the feelings between us. Ever since the tiff, I realized our bond is much more stronger than the past years. Now you're being granted to be with Noris. Last long with him and don't be such a flickered minded woman anymore. Whenever there's outings, I don't get to see you there. Whenever you're not working, please leave some time for us, girls for some catch ups aite? ♥♥♥

This girl above I don't know where she gone to. She said she will meet me, us up. Till now I got no news from her. I miss the time when we went jogging around Seagate and munching on the watermelon outside your house. There's a lot to catch up with you. Faster text me, us aite? ♥♥♥

I miss this whole bunch of monkeys & teachers. We, this bunch of monkeys have been together for four years and we've gone thru ups and downs together. We overcome the fears that we had and we made it thru too. Although we might not be the best class but at least we made our teachers proud during our National Examinations. These three teachers are always part of us. If they didn't gave us the motivation to study, we won't be able to go until so far by now. ♥♥

Everything is planned properly and now whose the one canceling the outing? Whose the one fussy over it? Whose the one who keep changing the locations? Let me tell you, you're fucking getting on my nerve and fucking pissed me off.

I shall play along with you.

* Edited

Why am I still so concern over you? Ain't I suppose to give up and forget about you?

2009-06-30T22:45:00.008+08:00

I know you all still pissed off with me for not cycling back with you all. I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean it. I'm not here to ask for forgiveness but I'm here to apologise to you all. Really sorry. All I can say for now is, sorry.

Who started attitude first? Not me, is YOU. If you didn't start attitude me, will I attitude you back? NO! I felt so lost when you scolded me being so *****. I was like, wtf. What wrong did I did? Sigh. And this is the very first time I quarreled with you. The feeling sucks a lot to me. I tried holding back my tears and it's successfully done. I really don't wish to have the second quarrel with you. The feelings will sucks even more than now. Maybe we're really not meant to be. And I should listen to others for giving other people a chance. But, you know what? I want to prove you wrong towards this matter. If you think that I like him, let it be then. I've already explained to you that there's only one person in my heart, which is YOU. I've already make it clear and he know it himself too. I don't want to elaborate any furthermore. BYE.

It's such a let down.

Misses,

2009-06-18T01:23:00.028+08:00

I miss Afiqah. I miss her tummy. I miss crapping with her. BBQ remember to let me hug your tummy and if you're staying overnight, we must heart to heart talk yeah? Miss you!

I miss Suffian. I miss his craps. I miss his stupid laughter. I miss his lyrics that he created. I miss his GL attitude. I miss almost everything of his.

I miss Jefferson. I miss his cuteeeeee smile. I miss the times when we eat Mr. Bean after school hours.

I miss Eileen, she's away from Singapore for 14 days! I miss her silliness. I miss eating apple and I want to pluck all of your apples down your apple tree :x Remember Listerine girl? Ha!

I miss Raju, the blacky. I miss Dee toooooo.

I miss Afico. When are you coming back to Singapore from Dubai? I'll remember to pass the message to her that you'll make her proud one day and with the regards that you've send to her :D

I miss Axel. Where are you? Messages don't reply. Calls don't answer. Forget it & let it be, my good-friend.

I miss DianJin. I miss his silliness craps. I miss his GL attitude.

I miss Kathy. When is our meet up with KianHok & co.? I'm still waiting babe.

Afterall, I miss the whole clique & my best/good friends :D

Ahhhh. Supper. I've been skipping my dinners for days and I'm addicted to supper. F*ck. I shouldn't have tempt for my supper today. But I can't resist. Temptation makes me drools. I need to change my lifestyleeeee.

Runaway.

Conclusion,

2009-06-04T12:33:00.010+08:00

" Whether he is an artist or not, the photographer is a joyous sensualist, for the simple reason that the eye traffics in feelings, not in thoughts. "

- Walker Evans

2009-05-20T21:15:00.010+08:00

Yeah, I'm so head over heels with MarcusToh.
I'm aware of the competitions number of girls gonna fall for you, or in fact already have fallen for you.
I even find it hard to sleep at night because I don't know whether I'm still in my dream, filled with the phantom of your soul right beside me and jokes that you've cracked.
Though we're facing certain obstacles right now but I'd believe we'll pull it through together.
Well, hard times don't last ain't it?
Be strong. Love you.

----

I dislike the feeling of being triggered when my mind is actually made up. But then again, it's not made up because it can be triggered D':
Is it that difficult to accept the fact of someone you love?

Guilty desire,

2009-05-09T17:58:00.010+08:00

" Love is the true means by which the world is enjoyed.
Our love to others and other's love to us.
Love is patient. Love is kind. "

Unforgettable,

2009-05-04T18:50:00.026+08:00

I treasured the old memories between our clique.
As time goes swiftly, a few bring smiles back of happiness and some tears rolled down to the lid of eyes.
They're precious in their own ways.
Reopening the old doors of ours that have been shut for these few months which picture that they're unfold.
Those dear old sweet memories are all playing they're own special rolls with their own attitudes.
Those were the days that we brought in joy and opening up the latch of string of heart.
Those were the days we had fun in one whole clique.
Now all were shattered and separated into different groups.
It's not being good in this way. What I want is to past bring back the past to the present with the whole lots of laughter. Can we?

----

I'm feeling tired all this while.
If you think it's an heavy burden for you, I think we should let this relationship sail away and let the friendship of us sail back. It's just a matter of time.
I realised I didn't put in the commitment that I should put in.
All I know now is to persevere in everything that I should be doing and stop being impatient.

----

Thank you mummy for that, that and that.
I can't find the another mummy like you whom treat me so well.
Whenever I want something, you will get it for me for sure no matter how expensive it is.
Sorry for not being your good daughter since 2005.
I'm an rebellious kid whom don't like people to control me though it's for my own good♥

Fred Perry. Clinique. You cost me a bomb.

2009-05-03T09:05:00.009+08:00

Commitment, love and trust.

It's been a long and winding journey, I'm finally here tonight.
Picking up the pieces, walking back into the light.
Into the sunset of your glory, where my heart and future lies.
There's nothing like that feeling, when I look into your eyes.
My dreams came true, when I found you. I found you, my miracle.
If you could see, what I see, that you're the answer to my prayers.
And if you could feel the tenderness I feel. You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here.
Standing here before you, feels like I've been born again.
Every breath is your love, every heartbeat speaks your name.
Bring me here to be with you, I'll be forever grateful.
You made me feel the joy of loving you.
All of everything, that's our memories.
You make me cry, you make me smile and you make me feel the love is true.
You always stand by my side and I don't want to say goodbye to you.
Thank you for all the love you given it to me. I love you.

I'm a useless failure.

7th day,

2009-04-27T16:32:00.020+08:00

I know you cared for me. Thanks. But I really don't wish to rank up the past anymore.
There's heartaches. What can I do about it?
I know I can get it over " very " soon.
It takes time. It won't take a second, mintue, hour or day.
It takes month / months cause we've gone through a lot of things.
I know I don't know how to take care of myself very well. But at least I know what I should and shouldn't be doing.
Yes, I might be smoking a lot these few days. What can I do?
I can only release stress by smoking.

I've never regret being with you cause I love you. I mean it.
Maybe the feeling is fading, but at least I know I'll be there for you whenever you need me(L)
I'm trying very hard to get out of this circle which has filled up with memories. But I can't.
We said to be friends and you're still avoiding me like the past few days.

2009-04-26T00:24:00.003+08:00

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过
曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流

Can I?

2009-04-24T16:19:00.017+08:00

Soon to be? Stop all this shits cause I'm not into it either.
Good luck to your " soon to be " relationship with Marcus Toh.
Though we're through, we're still friends.
It's hard to let everything go in just a while which we have built up for the past months.
I will lead my life worthwhile.
Without you, is an matter for me now.

----

For all the years that I've known you baby, I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold.
If there's a problem we should work it out.
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now?
Like you don't even wanna talk to me boy.
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan.
But why are you making this drag on so long?
I'm sick and tired of this silly games.
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame.
It's not me here who's been going round loving you?
That's when you turned and said to me, I don't care babe who's right or wrong. I just don't love you no more.
Outside my window is pouring down.
What's now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry.
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down.
Now it's too late to turn it around.
I'm sorry and you made me cry.
I guess this time it really is goodbye.
I know that I made a few mistakes.
But never thought that things would turn out this way.
Cause I'm missing something now that you're gone.
Giving me reasons but as you look away, I can see a tear roll down your face.
That's when you turned and said to me, I don't care babe who's right or wrong, I just don't love you no more.
You made it clear when you said, I just don't love you no more.

2009-04-24T07:51:00.006+08:00

When the day we pledged to be together, we wished to last as long as possible. You become an important part of me since 180109, 1957. I realised without you, I really can't survive. Just one sentence from you, you made me cried like an cry baby. You left me drowning in the river and you're swimming ashore. You might think I'm strong but I'm totally not. Thanks for treating me like an princess for the past months. You once told me, when I'm down, you're also down. When I'm happy, you're also happy. Do you still remember the first and second attempt that I cooked for you? Though it tasted badly. When I looked at you, I don't feel that you're the one that I've known. You became an stranger to me. I salvaging this relationship back no matter how hard it is. Cause I've never gone through so much pain before. You're the one whom made me understand what's love is all about. No matter how long you need to think, I'll still love you as always. It can't be changed cause it's the fact. I'm praying to god that you'll give me one last chance to repent everything for what I've done in the past. Ily, M.T.W.M♥

----

Listen baby, I wonder why we fall apart.
Every single day I pray, that really things should'nt never be this way.
I'm only trying to be a better girl.
Why then do you see all the negative things in me?
Cause all I ever do is try to be, all that I can be.
Boy, do you know you're hurting me by saying all those things that you said to me?
As I lie at night I'm imagining things, how it used to be.
What am I suppose to do with this broken heart?
Everyone asked me whether that you and me are over, but I know were meant to be together for eternity.
Was it untrue what we promised each other?
Baby my heart keeps telling me that it should'nt be this way forever.
Boy I truely love, to be around you.
And baby I'll give you anything you want me to, cause I know this might be hard for you.

I never felt nothing in the world like this before. Now I'm missing you. And I'm wishing that you would come back through my door. Why did you have to go? You could have let me know, so now I'm all alone. Boy you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance with you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand. And all my tears they keep running down my face. Why did you turn away? So why does your pride make you run and hide? Are you that afraid of me? But I know it's a lie what you keep inside. This is not how you wanted to be. So boy, I will for you. Cause I don't know what else I can do. Don't tell me I ran out of time if it takes the rest of my life. Boy, I will wait for you if you think I'm fine. It just aren't true. I really need you in my life, no matter what I have to do. I'll wait for you. It's been a long time since you called me, have you forgotten about me? You got me feeling crazy, how can you walk away. Everything stays the same. I just can't do it boy. What will it take to make you come back? Boy, I told you what it is and it just aren't like that. Why can't you look at me cause you're still in love with me. Don't leave me crying. Boy, why can't we start all over again? Get it back to the way it was. If you give me a chance, I can love and treat you well which is not like the past. But you're telling me it won't be enough. So boy, I will wait for you cause I don't know how what else I can do. Don't tell me I ran out of time even if it takes the rest of my life.

I didn't know what to say, I still want him back. But I know he's already taken up and he'd no wish to go back to the past. The past which was once so sweet and tough. I didn't expect I'd cry to you happy. I didn't expect I'll be feeling this way. I'm living in a lost life. Every time I wake up, I had to ask myself who I am. Pathetic is the only word for me. Looking back at those photos, it only reminds me of tears. But sometimes I can't help but to look at them. I know it's like letting him down but I'm really sorry. Just take a knife and stab me in the heart. I'll be grateful to you.

Love is so very special. Yet, you can make me feel so lost. It can arrive just like that springtime and melt away like morning frost. You must find ways to nurture. Always grow your love and care. I took the love for granted that we both shared. Mistakes are bound to happen. I may hurt your heart, yet I don't give up so easily. It will tear your love apart. Love resembles a bright flame that lights a dark starry night. Never ever let this flame burn down and rekindle with all your might. Take a moment everyday, look deep into each other's eyes. Never hesitate to show affection. Small gestures will keep a love alive. Talk openly about your feelings. Tale time to show that you care. Treasure each and every moment because true love is rare.

After some time I've finally made up my mind. He is the guy and I really want to make him mine. I'm searching everywhere to find him again to tell him I love him. And I'm sorry about the things I've done.

There's still love,

2009-04-23T20:33:00.006+08:00

Can you really forget the memories?
Do you really and totally have no more feelings for me?

----

Stop trying my patients. Everyone has their own limits.
And you're getting on my nerves.
Stop playing games with me.

I miss M.T.W.M♥

2009-04-23T07:55:00.007+08:00

I bet you know how much I love you.
In the past, I don't know how to express myself for being how much I love you.
I wanted to talk to you. But when I see you, I can't utter a single word to you.
I'm going to salvage this relationship back no matter how hard it is.

I loathe the game which called L.O.V.E

2009-04-22T13:08:00.011+08:00

I guess this time you're really leaving.
I heard your suitcase say goodbye and my broken heart lies bleeding.
True love it's suicide.
I cried a thousand rivers and now you're swimming for the shore.
You left me drowning in my tears and you won't save me anymore.
Now I'm praying to God that you'll give me one more chance.
I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you.
When you breathe, I want to be the air for you.
I'd live and die for you.
Words can't say what a love can do, I'll be there for you.
I know you know we've had some good times. Now they have their own hiding place.
I can promise you tomorrow that I can't buy back the yesterday and I will cherish it well.
I wanted to be your valentine.
I wasn't there when you're down.
I must bring salvation back for this relationship.
I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do.
Just ring me up and I'll be there for you.
Build my world of dreams around you. I'm so glad that I found you.
I'll be there with a love so strong. I'll be your strength.
You know I'll keep holding on.
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter.

Can I lead my life without you? I know I can't.

Fake laughter and smiles from me which is so untrue.

I love you still.

2009-04-21T20:53:00.004+08:00

If I had to live my life without you near me, the days would all be empty. The nights would seem so long.
With you, I see forever oh so clearly.
I might have been in love before. But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know they'll take us where to where we want to go to.
Hold me now. I don't want to live without you.
You ought to know by now how much I love you.
One thing you can be sure of is that, I'll never ask for more than your love.
The world may change my whole life through.
But there's still nothing gonna change my love for you.
If the road ahead is not easy. My love will lead the way for us like a guiding star.
I'll be there for you if you need me.
You don't have to change a thing. I love you just the way you are.
Come with me and share the view. I'll help you see forever.

2009-04-20T19:02:00.004+08:00

Just a smile and the rain is gone. Can hardly believe it.
There's an angel standing next to me, reaching for my heart.
Just a smile and there's no way back.
I know, that I'll be okay now. This time is not for real.
I lay my love on you, it's all I wanna do.
Every time I breath, I feel brand new.
You open up my heart, show me all your love and walk right through.
I was lost in a lonely place.
Holding on to yesterday
I never knew that loving you could feel so good.

Rewind it back to the past,

2009-04-20T14:57:00.028+08:00

Sorry, I know it's my fault for giving you attitude. I never know I changed so tremendously.
It's been hard for you to tolerate my attitude. I promise you I will change for a better.
I realised I didn't cherish you for the past 3months 2days.
Now I realised, you played an important part in my life. You're one in a million.
You said you don't have any feelings towards me already. Is it true?
I really want to know the truth. Please tell me, please.
Please come back to me. I love you, I mean it.

Do you still remember what you've promised me?
Not to break my heart when my birthday is approaching.
Can you really put everything down?

Keeping a relationship alive is not easy. I love you still.

It keeps calling daddy, daddy. Can you hear it?
She misses you so much.

Falls like an broken vase which has been broke into a million pieces.

2009-04-17T20:19:00.002+08:00

We were both young when I first saw you.
I closed my eyes and the flashback stars to appear.
I'm standing here right on a balcony in a summer air.
See the lights as how the party goes by. The ball gowns and everything.
I see you make your way through the crowd.
And say hello, a little did I know.
There you were throwing pebbles and I was crying away on the staircase.
Begging you, please don't go.
Take me to somewhere we can be alone.
I sneaked out to the garden to see you.
We kept quiet because we're dead if they know.
So close your eyes and escape from this town for a little while.
You saved me and they tried telling me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you is fading when I met you on the outskirts of town.